List-mania for today

People I hate today:

  • The a-hole driver in the double-load rock-moving truck who cut me off, then proceeded to shower stones onto my vehicle
  • Catty women at work (this girl is too fat, that girl is too thin, the other girl is always at the office, the next girl is never around…. you get the picture)
  • People who, on a speaker phone/conference call, talk and talk ad nauseum, not realizing that I might easily be able to provide the answer to their question or solve their problem if they’d just SHUT UP for five seconds.
  • People who, on a speaker phone/conference call, ignore the common etiquette of putting their phone on “mute” when not speaking to avoid the overpowering background noise of a vehicle, barking dog or television. Usually these are the same people who commit the previously-listed annoyance.

People I love today (not in any particular order):

  • My 9 year old who always greets me with a “Hi Mom”, a warm smile and a huge hug when I get home from work.
  • My 15 year old who regularly and effortlessly entertains us at dinnertime with comedic episodes.
  • My husband who commented on my culinary mastery, even though dinner was just a throw-together dish (but it was pretty good, I must admit)
  • My chiropractor who eradicated 99% of the excruciating pain caused by today’s back to back migraine episode. (Likely caused by the conference call I had earlier in the day)

Today’s mysteries:

  • How can the 5’7″, 127 lb. body of my teenage son exude such a large volume of gas?
  • What makes John Travolta think he can really carry the role of a woman?

Results of today’s experiments with the dog:

  • She attacks my 9 year old if he is beating on my husband
  • She attacks me if I am beating on my husband
  • She attacks me and bites my hair if my husband is beating on me
  • The dog will no longer get any treats, leftovers or counter-droppings from me
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